Dying Childhood

I dream often, everyday I’m certain, but it is very rare that I remember my dreams in great detail the morning after. Sometimes I remember them all. Other times I remember but the bits that seemed important. A couple of nights ago I had a very weird dream. I knew it was odd because I woke up the following morning eager to share it with my roommate, which is something I don't do.

The dream took place in a familiar but unknown setting. I was surrounded by people I didn’t know. In the dream I met a little girl who passed away but was there for the time being. We laughed and as time passed I found myself heartbroken because I realized this little girl was gone and would never be back. This little girl who I did not know but shared a connection with had such a large affect on me. I remember crying uncontrollably while holding her as she told me everything would be fine. 

I woke up the next morning with such sadness. It was a weird feeling. 

The day went by and it was time for me to sleep again. At this point I had completely forgotten about the dream I had the night prior. That same night I had another dream I remember vividly. This dream also included a little girl I did not recognize, in a place that was familiar. Just like the night before, I was overtaken by worry for this little girl. I don't remember why but I remember the feeling being there. I woke up the next morning and told my roommate again.
“It’s so weird that you’ve had two dreams in a row that are so similar," my roommate explained. I was full of curiosity when she told me this because I wasn't aware of the fact, so I did what any millennial would do. I went on google.

The first and only link I opened explained that the dreams I was having were due to a large worry of some sort and the idea of a dying childhood. I laid in bed and thought about my dreams and what I was reading online. Could it have been that the dying little girl in my first dream was me? Did the location of the dreams seem so familiar because they were places I had actually visited before? Most importantly, was I losing touch with myself?

This discovery brought thousands of questions but also brought a reminder. 

I’m sure that my google search was not 100% accurate and that people post anything online these days. Plus, my dreams are weird on a regular basis but this whole experience reminded me to take care of myself, as crazy as it may sound.

These past months have been overwhelming. They have been months full of work, responsibilities, and no play. Through the midst of it all, I haven’t taken care of myself and taking care of myself is something I value greatly because there is no one I love more than I love myself. Maybe this was a reminder that I shouldn’t lose touch with myself throughout the craziness of life; that no matter what it's important to never lose touch of the curious and kind girl I was years ago. 


“Everything seemed possible, when I looked through they eyes of a child. And every once in a while; I remember, I still have the chance to be that wild.” 
― Nikki Rowe

Ana RosaComment