Six ways to live a little bit happier
Though I love being alone, I acknowledge that we live in a world where we are constantly surrounded by others; in a world that is highly diverse. This is a beautiful thing but beautiful things have flaws and many times living around these beautiful but flawed things can be hard. Here are six sets of advice I have learned over the years that have helped me live happily while being with others.
1. Stop arguing.
Of course people have different ways of viewing things, and that way may not be your way, but do not argue. Rather, seek to understand why the other person feels that their view or opinion is correct. When all is done, seek to express to them why you believe you are correct.
Remember: Speak emphatically with others.
2. Untangle intent from impact.
We wrongly and frequently assume others intention towards us by the impact they haven show upon us. Being aware of others intent is right, but the reason behind your logic may be wrong. That person that hurt you, probably did not intend to hurt you. Just as you should be aware of others intents, become aware of your own. You may have caused hurt, unintentionally.
Remember: Good intentions do not prevent a bad impact.
3. Leave behind blaming others.
Accepting that you are wrong is hard. Acceptance alone is tough. Abandon blaming others; take responsibility of your misunderstandings. In situations when “you do not understand” is said, do not say this but rather “I am not making myself clear”. Do not say “you are not being clear” say “I am not understanding you just yet”.
Remember: Making mistakes is okay. It is even better when you accept that you have done them.
4. Acknowledge your feelings.
Many times, what we feel and do not want others to see, leak into our lives, unwillingly. Our unexpressed feelings make it hard to listen to others and to ourselves. Though it may be hard, become aware of your feelings.
Remember: Validate the way you feel. Do not silence yourself from feeling the way you do.
5. Listen. Listen. Listen.
Always be genuinely curious about life and others. Let others know you want to listen to what they have to say. Position yourself in a way that will let them know. With this, have empathy.
Remember: If you lived this persons past, you would likely believe as they do.
6. Speak for yourself with clarity, confidence, and power.
The way you view things is okay, but remember to be understanding as others may not agree. Do not present what you believe as true, though you firmly trust you are correct. Our truths may not be true to others. Be confident and powerful but soft. Do not overuse ‘always’ and ‘never’ as they tend to exaggerate an understanding.
Remember: When speaking, honor yourself and honor the other.