University only just started and I want to pull my hairs out (kind of).
Junior year in college, oh fun? In fact, it is! I am so excited for this school year. I am excited for the mistakes, tears, and fights. I am equally excited for the smiles, giggles, and triumphs. You would think that I would have this whole school thing figured out since it is my third year but let me be completely honest - I do not. I still go on twitter when I should be reading and go home when I should be studying. But I continually grow and school only helps.
By this time people say a student should have some idea, if not the whole idea, of what they want to "be" in life. I, however, am different. I know what I want to do and who I want to be around but I do not have a set career and I am not scared. My parents, society, and schoolmates are constantly pressuring me to figure out and it only makes me want to punch them in the knee. I keep telling myself that this will come to me when it will and though it is scary I have learned to be okay with it. When I was younger I was given a set career. I was going to be the first person in my family to attend college, major in biology, go off to medical school, get my residency, and become a pediatrician. The thought of this was exciting to me and possible. I was young and I did not have an actual view of what life after high school actually was. And then I had the realist view. I did not want to become a doctor because it was a passion. I wanted to become a doctor because it was a passion others wanted me to pursue. I love helping others and I love children and now it is clear why I agreed with them but becoming a doctor was not what I wanted to accomplish. I could have but what a wasted life I would have had doing something that I did not love. This is the reason why choosing what I want to do is so hard, because I love a lot of things. I also believe that I am not the only student who feels this. So many times we are given a destiny that does not belong to us and it is saddening. Many live their lives doing something that they do not feel and only do a little branch out. I wish people were okay with doing what they loved without being scared, without being judged.
These past years have shown talents and admirations I did not know I have. As the days roll in I meet people who help me discover these passions. I unveil myself. I believe in destiny. I know that I was put in this world for a reason. It may take a year or five to know what I truly want to do. It may take less but for now I know that I will continue to do and be around those I appreciate and enjoy. I know that the pressure society brings will weigh me down (a time or two) but that is okay, it is expected. I would be surprised if society did not. I am pretty good at reminding myself that everything will be okay and as I said, things will come when they will.
I am excited for the future and I am excited for the now.