One of the rarest and most beautiful forms of relationships are relationships built because of friendships.
My mom grew up telling me not to trust friends because I could never count on them being there for me the next day. My mom is wise in many aspects and I take her advice to heart but I am happy I didn't listen to her because I thrive and am my best when surrounded by friends. I've been lucky with most, if not all of the friendships I have created throughout my life. Drama and pettiness follow in any form of relationship but the love in these friendships outgrew them, time after time.
Recently, however, I haven't stopped thinking about the friendships that I've lost. You know, the ones that are inevitable but that you miss constantly. I've noticed I have more than a couple and so I started thinking of the ways I could have prevented them from falling out, which led to the feeling of being a bad friend because I let them slip away. But the truth is I'm not.
Monica, a friend of mine who I love dearly, reminded me that people outgrow each other and that friendships end. Although there are one thousand things I can think of that I could have done differently, those one thousand things would not change the unfolding of the relationship because you can't force the staying of a friendship that is bound to end.
Friends are temporary and are built in phases throughout life and although that sucks to hear, it's true.
I had the greatest friends in high school. The love we had for each other was a love that felt never ending. I woke up everyday knowing I was going to be okay because I had a support system that I could fall on. Although our friendships seemed never ending, they ended. Now I talk to these same friends occasionally. We each have our own friends that we created and formed in our absence.
I want to stop dwelling on these types of friendships because within thinking of them, I am also setting myself up to think about the what ifs and that is something I try very hard to avoid. Cheryl Strayed (one of my favorite authors) said, "I'll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don't choose. We'll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn't carry us. There's nothing to do but salute it from the shore."
Although I wish so badly that those friendships stayed the same, we were around each other and gave each other what we needed when we needed it, which was then. That is why I have never regretted those friendships because at some point in my life, they were all I really needed and for that I am thankful. This is the same for the friendships I created and lost in college and for the friends I'll create and lose as my life rolls on.
And through the chaos of life and lost friendships, there are those friends that come along and stay. You don't have to work harder to maintain them because you're afraid of the fall out. You find that there is no fall out because time after time, they stick around. It's those friendships that remind me of the words my mother uttered when I was small and it makes me happy that I decided to ignore them.