The Importance of Leaving
As many of you know, I am a Zayn Malik enthusiast. Unless you've been in bed for the past 72 hours with no service you should know that he recently decided to go solo. This happening was obvious to me. After leaving the band and having two different songs released, it was clear that this was going to happen. He has been in LA for over two weeks now for what seems like recording purposes and he's never looked happier.
4 months ago Zayn decided to leave One Direction after stating that being in the band was "not real" to him. It was also said that his leaving was due to unhappiness. As predicted, there was an unbelievable amount of hate sent towards Zayn. Most of the hate was from fans.
"I did try to do something that I wasn’t happy doing for a while, for the sake of other people’s happiness."
The way I see it, leaving was a good thing for Zayn. Leaving is a good thing for anyone. People seem to forget that their own happiness is more important than others' happiness. This is not just a rule for millionaire boy band members. If you are ever put in a situation where leaving comes to mind, you should leave. You wanting to leave is a big enough reason to do so. If you don't find happiness in your career or your life, why would you stay put?
As a freshman in university I thought that my career goal was to become a doctor. This is the mentality I grew up around. My parents and my family were certain that becoming a doctor was my future and sooner than later I decided it would be. As a first year student I took every class and did every step required from me to become a biology major. I hated it and I knew that I did but I could not leave. I could not stop and disappoint the only support system I had no matter how unhappy it made me. It wasn't until I was almost kicked out of university (for grade purposes) that I realized that mentality was wrong. I was doing something I did not love and because of this I jeopardized something I did love - my education. As I spoke to different counselors, they all affirmed what I already knew. 1) I did not like biology so I should not pursue it as a major 2) I did not want to become a doctor 3) I loved something else more than I loved the idea of being a doctor and 4) I should find what that was. I eventually did and I can say that I have never been happier. I'm happy because I'm doing something I enjoy and when you do something you enjoy, you do it right. You just do.
One of my favourite authors wrote, "You are not a terrible person for wanting to break up with someone you love. You don’t need a reason to leave. Wanting to leave is enough. Leaving doesn’t mean you’re incapable of real love or that you’ll never love anyone else again. It doesn’t mean you’re morally bankrupt or psychologically demented or a nymphomaniac. It means you wish to change the terms of one particular relationship. That’s all. Be brave enough to break your own heart." I live by these words because they are true.
Just yesterday I got in an argument with a fan on twitter who did not understand that Zayn leaving was not a bad thing. She justified her hate by saying she did not understand how someone could stay in a band for so long while they were uncomfortable. I explained to her what I am explaining to you now. Her response was "you're dumb".
As a fan I understand some are mad Zayn left. I was mad too. It may be hard to see because some individuals have never been placed in a situation where leaving is obvious. But as a human it should be clear that his leaving was okay.
I am very excited for Zayn. I'm happy he put himself first. He's doing what he loves now so it is only natural that good things come from this. I hope you see this and remember, you are your first priority.
In reality, you can all learn from Zayn. Be brave and fearless.